When I first came up with the idea of writing a blog, I wasn’t
sure what to write about. Being undecided, I asked people who knew me about
some good topics for me. The typical came up: music, movies, books, etc. I love
movies, have eclectic music taste, and I’m sure if you looked at my username on
here you know that I like to read. These were all good ideas, and have been
done in so many ways. While I may, on occasion, talk about any one of these, I
don’t want to focus on them. I just don’t think I have a fresh perspective to
offer in depth. Another topic that was suggested to me was to write about my
struggles with my future. This seemed a little whiny to me and something that didn’t
need to be discussed extensively. With this blog, however, I am going to make
exceptions for all of these. While I am not going to focus on any specific
topic, I will most likely touch on each of these at some point. Recently, I
have been trying to figure out a direction for my life, and I have decided to
share it with the blogosphere. I’m aware that there are many people that have
no idea what they want to do in life. Some people go to college with a plan. I
was part of a large group of undeclared majors upon entering. I really had no
idea what I was going to do in life, let alone what I was going to study. For
me, it was just the order of things. All my life it was drilled into my head
that after middle school came high school which was followed by college. There
was no question about me going, but there was also no idea what I would go for.
I ended up choosing a major by default for various unimportant reasons. Upon
graduating, I still had no idea what I wanted to do and I wasn’t even sure if I
wanted to continue in my field of study. All I knew was I wanted to move to a
big city. Now, I live in New York, owe tens of thousands of dollars in student
loans, and still have no idea what to do. My dilemma is that anything in my
field requires a master’s, any government jobs require a law degree, and I am
not sure if I want to do any of the options in that direction. My love of
movies, books, music, and writing makes me wonder if I should work in a more
artistic field. For a significant chunk of time in high school, I wanted to
write for Rolling Stone magazine. This probably explains my english minor even
though my major was a social science. My interests are diverse, my education
varied, and my experience nil. After living here for almost two years, I now understand
what Frank Sinatra meant when he said “If I can make it there, I’ll make it
anywhere…” Every job in the city requires experience or higher education. Yet a
master’s or law degree is a very large commitment that I am not sure I am ready
to make. Since I was a kid, I have changed my ideal career often, as many kids
do. There were, however, two things that I always came back to. Being a writer,
and being a lawyer. My writing is shaky at best. I can barely maintain a blog,
let alone a writing career. That leaves a law career. In today’s economy, law
school is a gamble. Being so deep in debt already, it is an even higher gamble
for me. After doing research though, I have learned that a law degree can be
used for a great deal of things; some of which appeal to me. Thus I have
started seriously considering taking the LSATs and have actually started
studying. Anybody who has even thought of law school knows that the LSATs are
the first major step to law school. Now that I have made a semi commitment to
myself to stick with this, I find myself not completely sure it is the right
thing to do. As I said, any graduate degree is a big deal and not something to
take lightly. I feel as though there should be no doubt in the decision to go,
if that is the choice I make. Yet the idea of law school, to be honest, scares
the crap out of me. Therefore I don’t know if I doubt my choice because I am
scared or because I am not sure. I do know that further schooling has to occur
in order for me to go anywhere in the world. But where do I want to go? In
today’s economy do I even have the luxury of trying for something more than
merely having a job to pay the bills? Is it too much to want a career I enjoy
instead of a dead end job I just have to go to? I know that I want a career,
and I know that I am going to have to work for one. What I don’t know is what
kind of career I want for sure. Shouldn’t I wait until I know for certain or am
I just too scared to think about it? This has turned into a bit of a babbling
post, so instead of circling I’m going to stop here. If anybody reads this and
can help me, that’d be great. If anybody reads this and feels the same, please
feel free to comment or just know that you aren’t alone in the confusion. With
that, I hereby end my ramblings and continue on my quest to figure out my
future.
