Whirlwind!

      Whew! It has been a crazy few days! This past weekend my boyfriend and I traveled back to our hometown. It isn't a hard trip but it is rarely a simple one. We had a family function to attend where we said goodbye to a loved one. It was a bit of a hectic few days and not altogether pleasant. The outing was beautiful though. There were memories of happier times and then his ashes were sent into one of his favorite fishing spots. We finished the day off with sharing some s'mores: his favorite camping treat. Within all the sadness, there was love and I think the whole day helped those that loved him take the first needed steps to healing. Then we took the arduous trip home just in time to go to bed since we had to be up early on Monday. Tuesday marked the day that I started my new writing class. I want to give this whole writing thing an actual shot and thought that a class on creative writing could help. It helps that I absolutely adore school. I was one of those kids who couldn't wait for school to start every fall. I loved shopping for new supplies and picking out new folders, notebooks and pens each year. To this day I still get excited for a trip to Staples. Only these days I don't have as many excuses to buy things. I have so many extra pens and notebooks floating around my apartment that I have almost no use for. I just can't seem to help myself. So Tuesday rolled around and I was excited to get started. I posted a mini bio since it is an online class and was just getting started with reading this week's lecture when tragedy struck. I spilled water on my laptop; and not on the keyboard, but onto the back! It immediately shut off, and I immediately freaked out. I got it into a bag of rice, and thankfully my boyfriend took it apart later that evening to dry out the inside. After a very long day of waiting, we managed to turn it back on last night. But alas, the charging port doesn't work. Today we ordered replacement parts and my wonderful boyfriend is going to fix it. Thanks for nothing Apple. They won't touch it because it got wet, but the gentleman at the Genius bar told me what was probably wrong and what part to replace. It was probably cheaper this way, but I just hope it works. So I have been sans laptop for a few days and it is already killing me. Now I have to wait about 2 weeks before we can get the parts and I am not the most patient person... it should be interesting to see how I do. To balance out the bad news of the week though, I did get a job. I start this weekend and I couldn't be more excited. Unemployment is not for me. I tend to get a little too bored. I also start to freak out about finances without a concrete reason. Just the lack of income is enough to send me into a tizzy. So I will call this week so far a wash. Good and bad has happened. But I am still here, still trucking as they say. I have survived the whirlwind just in time for Independence Day and the cleanup will be my new adventure. Stay tuned to hear how it turns out!

The House That Built Me

         

  Today, as I sit down in front of my computer I am plagued with memories that won’t go away. Memories aren’t a bad thing, but these ones are persistent. It all started when I remembered my childhood room. More specifically I was thinking of music being in my subconscious. But when I thought about it more, the picture of my old room just stuck with me. So then I started to reminisce about my house. Let me tell you about the house where I grew up. I think it was a raised ranch. Don’t hold me to that because I know nothing about houses. What I do remember, though, is that my grandmother always said the house was backwards. She always said that the porch should have been on the front of the house and the main door should have been at the back. Looking back on it now, I don’t know how it could have been any other way. The house was old and had its flaws as I grew up, but at the same time it was a perfect house. They tell me my grandfather built it well before I came along. The property had acres upon acres of trees. There was a pond and a bunch of wild animals as well. As I got older, my grandmother sold off pieces of the land here and there, but the house and immediate land was always ours. We had a homemade swing set, an old shipping container turned fort, a separate standing garage that was dangerous for us kids, and a well in the front that I don’t think was in use. The house had 2 floors. The basement had ugly furniture and huge television set. You remember the old TVs that were actually cabinets too? It was one of those! And the couch was this ugly brown color with designs on it. It was quite comfortable, but ugly as sin. I mean, it belonged in the 80’s or even the 70’s, which I’m sure, is when they bought it. There was also a bar down there. As kids, we loved playing behind the bar. There were old beer cans all over the wall, but it wasn’t a functioning bar anymore. From what I can remember, there were bottles of tonics but I don’t remember any liquor being there. We also had a small bathroom and our washer/dryer down there. It was a comfortable yet functional space. It was technically the basement, but the layout didn’t make it feel like a basement. It opened into our 2-car garage that only had room for 1 car by the time I came around. The other side was full of junk. The rider mower was kept in there with many of my own toys. There was an old workbench towards the back and a small closet. I don’t remember what was in the closet, but I think it was a water tank or something. The only thing I do remember is that frogs used to be in there all the time, hiding from my cats no doubt. The ceiling of the garage had popcorn paint on it. I don’t know if you have ever seen popcorn paint, but it is so cool! Anyway… it took 2 flights of stairs to get upstairs to the main level, but even that space was done well. There was a landing in between that had double doors. These opened into the “front” yard. Nobody ever used that yard and rarely did they use that door. To get to it from the driveway, you had to go up some stairs and follow a path, and there was a little tiny porch. We always used the door at the back of the house because it was closer to where you actually parked in the driveway. But let's get back to the house. The wall in the stairway was one of my favorites. The entire wall to the right of the second staircase was made of mirrors. They were about the same size and shapes of bricks, but they were mirrors with gold over them. So it wasn’t like a big mirror that you looked in, but they were more decorative. And the fact that the stairwell was completely open made them look so much cooler. The living room was the left of the stairs, but a railing separated it. So there wasn’t a wall making the stairway feel small. To the right was a hallway that led to the bedrooms and main bathroom. The bathroom was standard, long bathroom with tub, linen closet, and sink. There was a rather large counter for the sink and gorgeous mirror above it, but I think that was actually common in older houses because I have seen that set up in more than one bathroom in my life. There were 3 bedrooms; the master bedroom had another mini bath that actually shared a wall with the master bath. That probably made life easy for the plumbers. The kitchen, dining room and living room were actually attached in a type of open concept. There weren’t doors in between them, though there was a doorway to one side of the kitchen. At the top of the stairs, there was an open doorway to a smallish kitchen, which then opened into the dining room, which flowed into the living room. My grandmother always kept old-timey kitchen things on a shelf that ran the length of the kitchen. We had an old wooden table that took a lot of abuse as I grew up. We usually ate at that table when it was just the 2 of us. But we used the big dining room table for holidays and Sunday dinners. Every Sunday we ate with the whole big family and my grandmother would make pot roast. It was always a dry roast, and there was always sauerkraut, but the gravy and potatoes were delicious. She used one of those bags where you just throw everything in and cook it. The ending result was always deliciously tender and flavored carrots and potatoes, but a roast that was a little over cooked. It was a long running joke that she could burn water though, so we all appreciated the fact that her roasts, albeit dry, tasted good. There was love and laughter every week, and that was what mattered. And whenever my dad was at the dinner, we heard the story of how my cousin got tricked into eating horseradish as a kid. It was a classic story that I’m sure we all got sick of. But to this day, I can’t look at horseradish without remembering it. That dining room table also came in handy around Christmas time. My aunt has been baking since as long as I can remember, and Christmas was always her time to shine. She filled that 12-14 seat table with cookies every year. There were chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, cookies with Hershey kisses, thumbprint cookies, nut tossies, cut out cookies and more. The cut out cookies were the reason we were usually all there. As kids, it was our job to decorate them. It was a Christmas time tradition that I will never forget. The cookies always looked like you would expect a child decorated cookie to look, and there were always a few sheets that got burned. Burnt cookies never went to waste in my house though because those were my grandmother’s favorites. Burnt cookies and decorating were her favorite parts of Christmas. And boy did we decorate. In the living room, there was a coffee table that was absolutely beautiful. Well, it was way back then. It was a wooden table but it had a marble top. At Christmas time, my grandmother had a little train track that we put along the edges. The living room also had one of my favorite aspects of the house. Along the far side of the living room there were large bay windows. The windowsill was low enough that as little kids we could climb onto it. I spent many hours on that windowsill. I would practice my keyboard on it, sit and read on it, and even used it to put on many performances. The curtains were huge and long and it was almost like being on a very skinny stage. You could also just sit and look out the windows at all the trees. From those windows we spied bears, foxes, bunnies, and many a cardinal hanging out on a tree. Cardinals were my grandmother’s favorite bird. They say that a cardinal represents a loved one who passed. So now whenever I see a cardinal I of course think of her. There is so much more I could tell you of that house, and so many tangents I can go off on. I could tell you about remembering watching Pocahontas while home sick as guys painted the whole place, or about stubbing my toe all the time on the driveway because I refused to wear shoes. I could tell you about sitting on the back deck listening to my grandmother tell stories of life on the farm, or about riding down the really steep driveway on our big wheels. I don’t remember a lot of specific childhood events, and I’m told that is normal. But I remember enough, and I remember the little things. I will never forget the house I grew up in, and I will never forget the woman who raised me in it. I miss her every day, and my heart will always hold a special place for both house, and home.

My New Pet Project

I am so excited to tell you all about my latest project. This summer I have started a bullet journal. It is a fun phenomenon that is sweeping the Internet. There are countless blogs and Instagram pages dedicated to the subject, not to mention the Pinterest pages. I won’t go so far as to dedicate my whole blog to my journaling, but I do want to tell you about what I’ve done so far. For those of you that don’t know, bullet journaling is a new way to keep track of your life and plan it out too. It is notebook, planner, and journal all in one. I am constantly learning new things to add to mine. The fun part of starting a bullet journal is the trial and error. Each month I try new ideas and even different ways of doing the same things. I have set up the typical, perhaps even unimaginative, weekly pages that can be found in a traditional planner. My planner is something I take very seriously. Every year I try to find the perfect one for myself. I always go back to a minimal variation on the same one I’ve been using for years. This year, I bought my new planner and filled it up with the usual information. I wasn’t pleased, but I needed a planner so I had no other choice. Then, a friend of mine showed me her bullet journal and I was intrigued. I spent weeks on Pinterest looking at different lists, layouts, and more. I watched videos of how to start and soon enough I felt ready. So I bought a new sketchpad and some fancy pens and markers. Being an avid fan of coloring I already had some supplies. I started with a basic calendar and a few pages of weekly spaces. Then I got a little fancy and added sleep and habit trackers, meal planning pages, and pretty holiday wheels. The wheels were the first pages I was most excited about. I got to flex my creative muscles and was rather proud of the results. There have been a few down sides that I have thought of. But instead of doubting my new project, I am trying new ways to tackle them. I started a page for future things that will need to be added since each month’s are created as they are needed. One of the main reasons I decided to write this particular post is to brag about a few of my better pages. I have a quirk where I tend to keep track of all the books I read and the movies I see. I have created a page for each of these things and I absolutely adore them. Truth be told, I mostly stole my ideas from pages I saw online. I copied but didn’t trace, so the drawing is something I am proud of. I dabble at drawing and am nowhere near a talented artist. However, I love the few pages where I tried more complicated drawings. The holiday wheels, the book and movie lists, and then there is today’s accomplishment. Since the bullet journal is truly a journal, someone came up with the idea to track his or her moods throughout the month. I have seen a few different options, but decided to tackle the mandala. I have a coloring book full of mandalas and think they are beautiful, but complicated. I was skeptical of whether I would be able to actually draw one. Today I achieved my goal! I drew a mood mandala. There are 31 rings within it that will be colored in with corresponding shades designated to each mood. It will be a masterpiece, but this first step was the hardest and it was successful. I have added pictures of my favorite pages below so I can share my work. I wrote this post though because I am proud of my work and also because I want to help share the concept of bullet journaling. It is something that has helped me to be more organized and more creative. I am not solely right or left brain oriented so this is something that allows me to use both sides of my crazy brain. I am happy to share it with you all.    

   

 

Satiating My Inner Mermaid

            Today we begin fresh. This blog is going to be a mish mash of things going on in my life. If there is anything important you, the readers, think I should talk about by all means let me know. I will fill you all in on my summer adventures, my hunt for employment, the status of my writing, and so on. Today I am going to tell you about this week’s adventure. On Monday, I went to the beach. Nothing crazy or even innately adventurous, I know. But you see, I grew up within driving distance of the ocean, and even had access to a swimming pool every summer. Then, I moved to the ocean state. If you can’t tell, I love the water. Even living in New York I feel a sense of peace at times because I am near the water. I don’t really live close to water that is swim-able, but it is better than no water at all most of the time. Monday, however, I not only got to feel the peace of seeing the ocean, but I got to swim in it. I believe that in a past life I was a mermaid; I am part fish who loves to swim. So going to the beach with my friends was enjoyable for more than one reason. I got to enjoy the company of my friends, but I also got to be in the water. Let me paint you a picture: The day was a hot one. The temperature on Monday reached almost 95 degrees and I never checked, but I’m sure the humidity was off the charts. We were sweating while sitting still. Once we got to the beach that changed. The sun was warm but the breeze was glorious. We spent a good amount of time just basking in the sun and enjoying each other’s company. I got absolutely fried and in fact am still in pain, but it was totally worth it. There was some good, old-fashioned, girl talk happening on that beach and a great deal of mere contentment. We people watched and snacked and just relaxed. For me though, a beach trip isn’t complete unless I am in the water for a good portion of the day. My friends weren’t as excited about swimming as I. It is still early in the summer and the Atlantic takes a while to warm up. Needless to say, the water was a little chilly. That would never stop me though. I remember as a kid needing to be the first person in the pool every year. It didn’t matter the temperature, or even the color, of the water. I dove in and swam to the other end. One year it was brown, and quite gross but I did it anyway. Usually the water was around 35 degrees and I almost always got a brain freeze. But it was how I kicked off my summers. I suppose you could say it was my own personal tradition; a way to commune with water. It might be helpful to know that as an adult, things have changed a bit. I haven’t been to a beach in many years and a pool even longer. I honestly can’t remember the last time I went swimming. I think it was about 2 years ago, but it could have been more. There are times where missing the water is a pain I feel acutely in my heart. In my day-to-day existence I don’t often realize it, but every so often it sneaks up on me. So to say Monday was a big deal is an under statement. Merely putting my feet into that cool salt water felt amazing. As my friends watched, I just waded in slowly. They followed for a little bit, but the coldness stopped them around the knees and they couldn’t go any further. As for myself, I just kept walking. Then a wave approached and I knew it was time. I dove head first into the oncoming wave and was immediately in heaven. The water sluicing down my body felt incredible. I came up for air and just tread water so I could be submerged more completely. They laughed at me while I swam up and down the beach but I didn’t care. It was pure bliss. The salt made my skin sticky that day, but the water felt like an overdue hug. I don’t think I will be able to go another 2 years or so without swimming again. Thankfully I won’t have to. One of my friends is from California and was also having beach withdrawals. Thus, we have made a plan to go to the beach multiple times a month this summer. It is going to be the best summer I have had in years and I could not be happier. All it took was a swim. My inner mermaid is at peace and I can promise she won’t be denied any more.

photo credit: Mystic Mermaid Facebook Page