I need
to tell you all something that might upset you. Just grab a box of tissues and
remember to breathe. In fact, you may want to sit down. It has just come to my
attention that experts are predicting a shortage in 2013. A shortage of what,
you ask? What could we possibly run out of, that would cause me to prepare you
so heavily? Well, get ready. It’s bad. We are going to have a shortage of
bacon!!! I know, I know, it is as though the Mayans were right; the world is
coming to an end. It seems there have been a significant amount of droughts
throughout the world. This has destroyed corn and soybean crops which raised
the price of feed. Many farmers can’t afford to keep their herds and are
getting rid of a lot of animals. This means that by next year they won’t have
enough pigs to send to slaughter and replenish the supply; which translates to
a shortage of bacon. There will of course also be a shortage of sausage, pork,
and even beef. The biggest tragedy, though, is the bacon. What will we do
without bacon? Bacon has seen such a big boom in the recent years. You can now
find bacon cupcakes, bacon vodka, and fairs even sell chocolate covered bacon.
This country’s economy has affected everybody, why not the farmers. But it
seems that nature has joined forces with the economy to deprive us of bacon’s
crispy and salty goodness. There are alternatives of course. There is turkey
bacon and soy bacon, but we all know these are not even close to the same. So
for now, we must eat all the real bacon we can before it’s all gone. The
shortage is inevitable. I’m sorry to
have delivered this news, but you all had a right to know. Now you can try to
prepare yourself. As well as anybody can be prepared for such terribleness,
that is.
Here are a few articles you can read to find out more:
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