V is Very Very, Extraordinary...

                So yet again I am a bit late, but I want to take a moment and talk to you all about Valentine’s Day. I mentioned it in the previous post about February and therefore wasn’t going to write another post about it. But I have been looking at cute love quotes all week and feel the need to write about the holiday. First, let me explain why I have been looking at quotes. At my job, I maintain the social media. This is primarily just Facebook and Twitter and is not all that in depth. It is being run on a trial basis this year to see how well it works, so there is not much for me to do or say. But, it being a holiday, we ran a special on Thursday night for couples. So, in order to promote it, I tweeted about it each day and used a cute quote to make the tweets festive. Thus I have been looking up love quotes all week. Also, being me, I have a thing for quotes. Since high school I have kept a little book where I write down all the quotes I happen upon that I like, for whatever reason. I was just transcribing some from a site I found and I felt the need to write a post to you guys about Valentine’s Day.

                For the past two years, my boyfriend and I have both worked on Valentine’s Day. In fact, each year I’ve volunteered to stay late. I am a hopeless romantic, but to be honest I don’t look at Valentine’s Day like most people do. I have heard people talking about gifts, and dates, and if you pay attention to commercials the ads are loaded with Valentine’s Day gimmicks. Jewelry stores probably do their best business around this time. And the amount of people that propose on the 14^th must be astronomical. Personally, I don’t get it. I think we have gotten way off track as to what this holiday means.  Valentine’s Day is what many people refer to as a Hallmark Holiday. This is because the card and candy companies run the show. It is all about the cards, candies, flowers, and jewelry. Other people treat it as a gift giving day. On my Facebook news feed, people showed pictures of gifts that could have been given for Christmas or a birthday. Now to me, this is ridiculous. Valentine’s Day should just be about love. Perhaps about simply being with the one you love. Maybe a flower or a card should be given but not extravagant plans and gifts. When I woke up the following morning, there was a heart made out of little candies on my counter. It was a gesture so simple and so sweet; I started my day with the biggest smile. Something like that is perfect. Don’t take this the wrong way; I love flowers and chocolates like the next girl. I just don’t expect any of that stuff, or even need it.

                I know I mentioned it in the February post too, but this holiday did not start out as a commercial holiday. This is a fact that shouldn’t surprise you because none of our holidays started out as what they are now. Our society is one of consumption. Thus, our holidays have become about material objects. Christmas and Easter are no longer religious celebrations but times of gifts. Even if you aren’t religious, Christmas should be about being with the ones you love, celebrating peace on earth and so on. Even President’s Day has a layer of consumerism. The biggest car and furniture sales of the year are held around President’s Day. It is a shame, but Valentine’s Day, the holiday of love, has turned into the biggest Hallmark holiday of them all. I personally love the traditional idea behind Valentine’s Day (and I’m not talking about the origin of the holiday because let’s face it, nobody wants to celebrate a martyr being killed) and the simple celebration of love. I prefer to buy the chocolates the following week (when they are half price) and I’d rather get flowers on a regular day than because it’s a holiday. But I will say Happy Belated Valentine’s Day to all those out there who are in love. And a special Happy Valentine’s Day to those who are alone because they deserve love just as much as everybody else.

Getting Heavy For a Moment

 So this may come out a bit like a journal. I want to address my recent emotional state. This is not directed at any one person in particular nor did any one person cause me to write it. It is all merely something that is on my mind. Everybody keeps asking me if I am ok or how I am. I feel grateful that so many people care and I feel loved knowing they care enough to worry. I also hate that people worry about me. I will state for the record, as I always do, that I really am fine. This reminds me of my mother’s definition of the word: Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. Not an original definition by any means but one I first learned from her and one she got a kick out of. I am both definitions of the word. Life is progressing as though nothing happened. It is not like I can ask the universe to pause while I figure my head out. So I have accepted this and am moving right along. To be honest, when everything happened I didn't really feel anything. Even when I traveled to bury my mother I mostly just went through the motions. I tried to be there for my family but I myself didn't feel much. I sat through the catholic funeral and paid very little attention (sorry Grama) because I don't like catholic ceremonies or any church really. I don't think I believe in the traditional sense of god and therefore feel extremely bored and uncomfortable in a church.(again, my apologies if my grandmother reads this) But as I watched everybody cry and thanked people for coming, I just wanted to be anywhere else. Not to deal with my grief but to escape the discomfort. Thus I just assumed I felt nothing. One could assume that because of my relationship with my mother it should have affected me the most when she died. It could also be assumed that due to our issues I would have felt the least. Part of the problem is that I have been trying to figure out what I should feel. It's almost like religion; I want to believe but can't seem to. In this case, I want to feel something I just don’t know what or how. Then the other day I was watching Criminal Minds and one of the characters made a very good point. He said not knowing what you feel doesn't mean you feel nothing... And it hit me. I do feel. I just don't know what it is. Some days I am completely fine and others I cry over nothing. There are days when it is an effort putting one foot in front of the other. Today, 3 songs came on my iPod and each was like a punch in the stomach. But I just turned them off and moved on. It's the only logical thing to do. Now some people think I should see a therapist. And maybe I should. But over the course of my life that has never helped and I just don't want to at this stage. So maybe I'm not completely dealing with my grief, as I assume that is what I am experiencing. And again maybe a therapist would help me figure out exactly how I feel and help me to deal with it. But as I said, the world doesn't stop. It doesn't even slow down. So it should all pass right? I suppose I am in denial and burying my head in the sand. I've had lots of practice and ignoring these things is what I'm good at. But I want to let you all know that I'm not really hiding. To those who think I'm really hiding or not feeling anything I assure you that the pain is there. And to those who worry that I'm ignoring the pain, it may appear that way but I know it's there and I am living with it. And for those who worry that I'm not really ok (yes I have people in y life that each believe opposite things of my emotions) I swear I am. I am following the universe and progressing. For now, I think I am mostly just figuring it all out. But fear not, I always over-think things and my emotions are no exception to this treatment. This post may seem a bit rambling, which would make sense since I wrote it on the subway. It is more of a stream of consciousness post than what I usually write. But after rereading this, I feel as though what I’m feeling is normal and am less worried myself. So that is my deep post for the month. The rest will be lighter, I swear!!

The Start of the Winter Thaw

                This post is coming to you a day later than planned. It is going to be similar to my previous post entitled “I’m So Excited” and thus should have been put up yesterday. The great thing about blogs, however, is that I can post when I choose. And so, without further ado, let me tell you why I’m excited again!

                Yesterday was February 1^st. Yes, I am easily entertained and thus I am excited once again about a month. I won’t go so far as to say that February is my favorite month because I already told you October was. I am not flip flopping, I swear. But February holds a special place in my heart, and I consider it my second favorite. The main reason for this is fairly simple: my birthday is in February. Now, I am not one of those people that make a big deal out of my birthday. Truth be told, I usually work on the day and don’t really think about it too much. But, if I may state the obvious, it is still a significant day in my life and therefore is special. And who doesn’t think their birthday is special. I know some people that try to make their birthday last a whole month! Thus I am here to celebrate the month that contains my birthday.

                February is the most unique month of the year. It may not hold any major holidays, but it contains what has become a bigger one and a few smaller ones. February is also the shortest month of the year, and the only month whose days are adjustable. I’m talking, of course, about leap years. Every four years, a day is added to the month of February. No other month receives that honor. True, it is probably because it only has 28 days to begin with, but it’s still cool. The story behind the shortest month isn’t exciting, but I’ll tell you anyway because the public has a right to know. The original Roman calendar only had 10 months; it went from March to December. The reason behind this is that they did not believe the winter was important for harvest and therefore did not get months. Later they decided to make it more accurate and have the calendar follow the lunar year, and thus January and February were added. In time, days were added on everywhere to get the newest calendar. Everywhere, that is, except February. This month was the time of purification and often rites of the dead were performed. There is a theory that this may be the reason the month was kept so short, but to be honest nobody really knows. We do know that we have Julius Caesar to blame for the leap year because he once again added days to the year and made each year equal 365.25 days. Thus every four years, one extra day was added to February. It’s always the Romans changing things around at their whim. Like I said, it’s not a very exciting story, but it’s always good to know how things started. And so, thanks to the Romans and ultimately Caesar, we now have one month shorter than the rest and one extra day every four years.

                While it may be the shortest month, it is one of great significance throughout the year. Each month has a theme, I think. I know of a few different themes at least. For example, October is breast cancer awareness month. Well, February is the most famous because it is black history month. Throughout the history of the United States, the status and importance of the African American race has changed. Now, they get a whole month where everybody learns about their history. This is the month where schools focus on the civil rights movement, the actions of people like Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jackie Robinson, and so many more. These people had a huge impact on society as a whole, as well as on their own communities. Now Martin Luther King Day may be in January, but I find a few February birthdays very interesting. Rosa Parks and Abraham Lincoln were both born in February. I don’t think this is an important thing; just that it is a happy coincidence. Rose Parks will forever be known for refusing to give up her seat at the front of the bus for a white person. She changed the course of civil liberties in this country, even if she was merely a minor player in the macrocosm of society. Lincoln was one of the most influential presidents in the scheme of black history, so for lack of a better word, I think it is cool that their birthdays share February with black history month.

                Abe Lincoln and Rosa Parks weren’t the only famous people born in February. In fact, Lincoln wasn’t even the only president. George Washington and Ronald Reagan, to name a few, were also born in this great month. If you were to search for a list of people born in February, you would find so many big names. Late and great actors such as Clark Gable and Farah Fawcett would have had birthdays this month. I will admit to you that I trolled through Wikipedia and found a great deal of cool people that have February birthdays. My original idea was to name a few. But there were just so many that I cannot choose, and to even try would mean simply listing names. Lists aren’t really all that fun, so I will not put a huge list of people in this post. But I will say that I am proud to share this month with so many legends and talented people each in their respected fields.

                So I mentioned the presidents, which means I should mention President’s Day. It is probably the favorite day in February for many kids, though I’m sure they don’t realize it. Why, you ask, would they love a day and not know it? Children love President’s Day because for them, it is a day off of school. It may not occur to them that it is a holiday other than for their 3 day weekend. That is ok, I am not really sure I understand the reasoning of the day. But I suppose, there are days for everybody else in the year, why not make one for the leader of our nation too? To many people, it just means sales on cars and furniture. These are the two things that have the biggest sales this month and all the commercials are played nonstop. So, like many other holidays, President’s Day has lost its meaning over time.

                 You know what else has changed so drastically over time? You knew it was coming. I am talking about Valentine’s Day. Do any of you know the real meaning behind this holiday? Well, the legend goes that St. Valentine was a priest who would perform weddings for soldiers who were not allowed to be married. During his time, Rome was in a great upheaval and Christianity was not the dominant religion. It is also said that he healed the blind daughter of his jailor and wrote her letters. He signed all his letters “From Your Valentine”, thus coining the phrase as we know it today. Ultimately, he was beheaded for his crimes thus making him a martyr for his religion and perhaps even love. Today, St. Valentine’s Day is the second most celebrated holiday around the world behind New Years Day. This surprised me at first before I realized that Christmas, which I would think would be up there, is not celebrated all over the world. But I digress. Valentine’s Day, as we know it, has become what people like to call a Hallmark holiday. This is because it is all about cards and candy and flowers. Once Christmas ends, the aisles at stores go from red and green to red and pink. This has to be the biggest holiday for card companies, candy factories, florists and jewelry stores. As cheesy as it is, I love Valentine’s Day. Every year in college, I bought myself roses. I also bought candy, but I always waited until the day after the actual holiday. That is the best day of the year! All the Valentine’s Day candy goes on sale and you can get nice boxes of chocolate for super cheap! Personally, I am a sappy romantic at heart. So I love all the cute cards, and the heart shaped candy boxes, and the flowers. Each year, I make chocolate covered fruit. Who doesn’t love chocolate covered strawberries? They are one of my favorite things ever. I love how they taste, how pretty they look, and what they represent. When somebody sees a chocolate covered strawberry, they immediately think of romance. The first thing that pops into my head is an image of a romantic scene with champagne, maybe a nice fire, and just 2 people in love. Plus, they are incredibly delicious! And so, while my head mocks the commercialism of this holiday, and I roll my eyes at the amount of spending that goes one, I secretly love Valentine’s Day and the intention behind it.

                I would like to take moment here and to wish everybody a blessed Imbolc today. You may have noticed that I have inserted Pagan holidays into my posts before. This one can be considered both Pagan and Christian. Today’s holiday is one that merely celebrates the coming spring. It began in Ireland and in Christianity became known as the festival of St. Brighid. It is still celebrated by both faiths and is sometimes referred to as the woman’s holiday. So consider today the day of women. Prepare yourself for the change of seasons and get ready to welcome in new light, new birth, and a fresh start.

So you see readers, February is a pretty sweet month. It may be the smallest, but it can hold its own against the rest. And now you can see why it is my second favorite month. The weather is still cool (spring is great but I love fall and winter best) though starting to change, the holidays rock, and so many awesome people were born. Including none other than yours truly. So I hope after reading this you enjoy February a little bit more. Happy February Everybody!